Cease

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 14:34:12 GMT

&I'd give up forever to touch you cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be &I don't want to go home right now.

&all I can taste is this moment, &all I can breathe is your life.
Cause sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight.

Right Now

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:48:49 GMT

How do I tell her I love her?
I looked at her clear big eyes and her slightly open lips.
I desperately wanted to kiss her pink cheek.
( Funny how I only thought of kissing her cheek and not her lips )

We are avid for freedom. Dreaming in 2D classes, making a fool of ourselves in PPD (&everywhere else actually). The boob staring sessions we have once in awhile on bus 12; they bring the greatest joy.

&not forgetting, messing up our photography assignments as well as visiting Haji Lane for cat patting time &playing catching at ECP after DD.
Awsome(y)

Off to do Erzan's essay. Life is exhausting.

Goodbye.

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 12:57:05 GMT

I hear the growl.
Let it all fall down.
Including me.

&the love you never knew

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 06:39:11 GMT

Loved, missed, lost, loving. But still lost. Who exactly is given the right to be judgemental about someone else's life? I can only dream of the venom that trickles down the side of your pale smooth throat. &as the music fills my ears, I scream. &I know that you are gone. Truly. It is time to mollify whatever pain there is between us. I will still paint dulcet colours in your life &we will rid all inanition.

I know you know so let it go

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 02:48:27 GMT

13th Sept 08 (y)
Oh hes a love machine.

Time for sketchup!

silence is golden

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 09:04:08 GMT

I am seventeen.
seventeen.
SEVENTEEN.
17.
Ha-ha.
Oh the rumours.

oh you are gorgeous baby grrrrrrrl <3

sweet dreams that won't come true, i leave it all for you

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:45:14 GMT

Schools been a dread, a fight to finish our home assignments. A struggle to meet up for group projects. Scandals, lies &truths. Sluts, homies &clubs. I feel the urgent compulsive need to see Mr J &bitch about Lasalle. Overwhelmed by the intensity of art, I am drowning my head in beats &the sudden rush of cold water. Recently I take much longer than I actually need to shower. Just so I can feel the shock of icy water that pours from the shower head above when it flows down my skin.
I stand naked in the shower for much too long now, even after the water has stopped. Dazed &dripping wet, I am slightly repulsed by amount of work I have to complete. My complaints are excessive, my thoughts are unnesessary.
I am going for therapy now, hoping, wishing that the cold would do some good. Then, I will embark on my treacherous journey towards completion &enlightenment.
.
.

A disease of the mind, it can control you
So if you must falter be wise
Your mind is in disturbia

aestival white nights

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 13:49:55 GMT

Titien : Show me your cones.
*pauses
Titien : Not those.

Seck's class was (y) today. All the clambering, photo taking, giggling &euphoria.

How many times will we say sorry &actually mean it.

turn into something beautiful

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:33:49 GMT

Schools been hectic, my work inconsistent. Attendance 0. I hate Drawing A classes >:[ Today is the day i stop procrastinating &finish all the hmmwork I haven't been doing. Goodbye all.

we will never say bye

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:25:34 GMT

Two whole years, a group of close lachrymose friends, the best; out of all reach. I still dream, I still cry. I just want to abscond into the bleakness of life, just to see you one more time. I still wish, I still beg, but we all know nothing will get us back to where we all were. I thought you were so strong, that you could make it through whatever. It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever.

Two whole years, nothing has changed, yet alot has. One last smile, I'll take it with me through forever. I have so much more to go through, its not fair you don't. I wish I could talk to you for awhile. I wish I could find a way try not to cry.

So I've spend yet another day with baby despite feeling pukish half the time. Its been sucha long time since we went out for late night movies. Soonsoon <3

my tongue dances behind my lips for you

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:39:53 GMT

This birthday, I've recieved plenty of msgs from long lost friends &the Best Loveds (L). I've never really liked celebrating my birthdays so the whole of yesterday &today was spent with mboy. Anyhow, thank yew all for the wishes &presents, all!! I feel so pshhttt from all the food I'm gonna sleep &do hmmmmworkk early tomorrow morning. I'm really lacking all vim &enthusiasm. Sorry babiesxxzz!

I <3 you, Eugene. Thanks for being with me :D

toxic girl

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 08:55:15 GMT

School has been exhausting, poking at my dark side very much more often than so. I've gotta finish Kim's work, Sawn's work, Leo's work &Nadia's work >:( I hate blind drawings; the flaws of it. I need perfection, but yet constantly lacking in it as well.

The susurrus. I hear nothing else but the struggle of the voice in my head. I feel nothing but the anxiety that feeds on me. Where have the plethora of sparks gone. I miss Gangxxzz.

don't you turn around

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:49:17 GMT

I've given up waiting for Tiara's photos so I've decided on todays orientation instead. Swear we've got the coolest mix of people around, best of all Nic &Tiara are in 1A as well. Talks were boring abstruse languid. &of spent time hanging at the back of B109, I've come to realise that Nic rotates in circles while sleeping. Thank God people here are knowledgable &have a wider vocabulary of words. Now we can really start talking/bonding :D

Now I have to attempt to print everything for next week week out >:\

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:42:59 GMT

Okay, if you say so honey. If you can actually tell, I have lost interest in people like you already. So grow up, the tagboard issue has stopped, so you should too. &if you can tell, this was written a long time ago. Not reccently, you, please get your facts right. We merely wanted to settle things. But forgot that cowards do exist. &who knew dogs would back her up instead. Okay okay, no dogs, just bitches. Happy? So, let go, kiddo. Fights over, stop itching for one.

cos you just might get it

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:32:05 GMT

(: Love Peace Ecstasy

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 15:49:27 GMT

tell me

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 04:51:10 GMT

Can I hear the words that fall from your lips?
Can I hear the voiceless fears that stir in the depths of your soul?
Can I hear the waves of doubt that break over your spirit &threaten to submerge you?
Can I hear your unspoken cries for a helping hand, a word of comfort, or a reassuring look?

When you seek a listener, seek one who bears the scars of his own battles &remembers the pain, one who has not forgotten how it feels to be an island battered by raging seas. More than this, seek one who has not only been wounded, but one who has risen from his anguish to smile again, one who has known not only pain but pain's promise of joy, one who has died a little &now lives with a richer, more abundant life.

&if you would have someone retrace with you the path of your sorrows, &walk with you along the cliffs of your fears, &lift you when you fall down, then you too must be a listener. Look inward, &see your infant-self reaching upward for a helping hand, crying out for a kind word &a touch of love from someone who hears. Look inward, &see you giant-self aiming for the stars &dreaming of the heights, yet shaken by strong winds &needing a shoulder to lean on.

All listening is for healing.
&when you yourself know the height &depth of your own need for healing, then He will disclose you to your own power to rise again &become whole. Yet so many go unhealed because there are none to listen.

Some wish to stand alone, &deem it as a weakness to seek, in tears, a listening heart. Is the giant oak less noble that in shelter it grew &through a thousand roots, begs its daily needs from the obliging earth? Is the waterfall less majestic because its relentless needs are filled by a hundred streams? The tears you shed in compassion for another's grief are not less healing because shed in half-remembrance of the still mourning pain of your own wounds.

The eye is blind, it is the heart that sees.
The ear is deaf, it is the heart that listens.
But fear has built round us a wall so thick that neither footfalls nor human cries can reach us. So the wounded, in need of healing, must pass us by &search for an open door. Young men have visions &old men dream dreams, &they would sit &tell us &have the wound in their hope &in their faith, healed by our listening. But the stone in our own hearts can turn their visions into illusions &their every dream into a nightmare.

What is it we are guarding with the wall built by our fear? Is every man in need of a listening heart a thief? He who shuts the door to others' needs umprovishes his own spirit. Does that seed live with the fullness of life that would choose to be wrapped around in the darkness, while its companions cast forth upon the earth, open to sun, wind &rain, flourish side by side in a gold harvest? Does the heart imprisoned in a tower, remote from the highway of human caravan, live and grow?

To listen is to open the door of the heart to all the seasons of human life. To stand with all men when clouds are dark &the sun doesn't shine. To share their partings &their homecomings. To roll with the ebb &flow of their tide. To touch the springs of hope &let them overflow another human heart. To let a light shine that will banish fear. To listen is to build a bridge of faith that will span chasm from darkness to the dawn of a new tomorrow.

so long, sweet summer

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:21:29 GMT

I can't say yesterday was really fun but it felt more like a situation repeated from the past. The kind that would inflict a sharp pain upon sudden thought. Eradicate all nostalgia &fall back into the arms of nothing. Maybe there are too many things I still can't bear to put down, whatmore stop to take a good look at it.

I have so much to say to so many people, if I were to die tomorrow, I'd never rest in peace. Nights of constant worry &regret eat into me slowly &I find myself lost in my abyss again. I am frustrated confused discontented hurt &torn. I need to seek solace whilst finding myself. We could have had the sun, could have been inside. Instead we're over here. I am going to start to rebuild my life right now. Starting with scribbled words &not to mention lots of hurting memories I've yet to successfully keep supressed.

I need, I need help. Help, a helping hand. Hand, just yours.

Opium

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 03:49:41 GMT

Hush Hush
Thump Thump

Lush green &ecstacy wind. What are the essences of dreams?
Burning skin &lost words, broken nails &chapped lips.
Mundane Love, I pray thee, tell me how to live.

Hush. Hush.

blueberry wires &bitter hardships

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:54:55 GMT

Mony Mony times in secondary one was blue skies ice cream &mindless gossip with the girls. (y) I mizz KC alot :[
Ever wondered how life would be without those melodramatic moments that played a part in shaping us?

baby we can get it on ;D

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:49:26 GMT

Lasalle Kids kewl yo.

The week has been very much hectic. Sex &the city with the girls was well, the sex. Plot was fantabulous, but SJP was in my opinion, just too old. I <3 Charlotte. Ran around Cini that night trying to get Chops off my back so I could sneak off with ZeeWeizz to get her a cake. But we had to get four cupcakes from Gloria Jeans instead. Zee &I were acting like little kids at Gloria's, the guy was giving me the weird eye >:( So we had a mini party outside the building Stephanie's daddy works at. ( I forgot the name. zzz )

Had to wake up at 5 the next morning to leave for M'sia &I had half the mind to sleep at all but I did cos my fav boy was out partying :[ Didn't take alot of photos cos dad conviniently forgot to bring the camera >:( Plus we always forget to take pictures when we're out so its basically just hotel room madness. Got back in Singapore at 7 &had to rush to downtown east for class chalet. About only half the class went so I was glad I had the chance to meet up with the girls. Mizz them 844294231948X. But I arrived late &Nabs +Ada +some others were already gone. Pffft.



Babes of 403 Katong Convent <3

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turn around, I am here

Sat, 31 May 2008 15:28:49 GMT

LISS Be Loved's welcome seminar was awsome!!! But the rain this morning was such a spoiler, I almost didn't want to go. >:( Caritas' facils; Marc &Regina were constantly entertaining us with their squabbles, it was so hard to be bored. Exchanged information about each other &I found out Ben does Communications &New Media in NUS (!!!) Praise &worship was really good &all but none of us brought cameras today so we had to rely on the photographer. Which means, I can only upload the photos when they get around. (n) Which will prolly be a long way later :\

9.30 mass with Godma tomorrow &then to visit the orphanage with my favourite boy's family. (L)

locked

Fri, 23 May 2008 02:26:28 GMT

You said yesterday would be the last day.

Sun, 18 May 2008 02:42:55 GMT

It feels like one of those free falls again, into my abyss of despair. Somewhere that has grown so close to my heart, that I'm starting to believe that I might be stuck there for eternity. &sometimes, it makes me believe that leaving is the best option.

I think about it when I hold you.
When lookin' in your eyes - I can't believe.
I don't need to know the truth.
Baby, keep it to yourself.

'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.

Thu, 15 May 2008 03:16:43 GMT

I've watched this video at a grand total of 636 times &it never fails to make me cry every single time as though the entire world has run out of rum &raisin ice cream. But the thing is not everyones that lucky. Not everyone gets a second chance to make up for what they did wrong previously. &that, is harsh reality that has somehow or another found a way to sink deep into our mentality which results in a certain degree of pessimism. Or maybe its just me.